Join us as we dive into what it looks like to have a growth mindset. Discover the differences between a fixed vs. growth mindset, the benefits you can expect and practical tips that will help you tap into the power of your mindset and push towards success. 

What Is a Growth Mindset? 

What does it mean to have a growth mindset? It’s the belief that a person can improve their skills and knowledge through practice and study. It’s an optimistic state of mind that makes a person more resilient and adaptable in the face of challenges and failures. Those with a growth mindset are more willing to take a risk and even fail, sometimes many times, before finding success. Yet, they aren’t trying to fail. Instead, they know that the seeds of success hide in some of the most spectacular failures.

First popularized in the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck, Ph.D, the concept of a growth mindset is based on research she and colleagues did over several years. They wanted to know why some students recovered from setbacks and others struggled. Through their research, they discovered that people who possess certain traits like optimism, persistence and resilience were more likely to bounce back from failures and disappointments.

Embodying the ideal of constant improvement, a growth mindset drives you to become a better leader and even improve your moral character. With effort, you can achieve more career and personal success and inspire others to do the same.

However, a growth mindset is not a quick fix to adversity or challenges. Rather, it defines how we perceive and cope with them.

Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset: What’s the Difference?

Now that we’ve covered the growth mindset definition, let’s explore how it compares to a static or fixed mindset. The difference between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset is fairly straightforward—growth mindsets invite change, while fixed mindsets tend to resist it.

The Growth Mindset 

In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dweck states that a “growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts.”

A growth mindset encourages developing the flexibility and resilience that enable people to grow through challenges. Someone with a growth mindset seeks personal growth through learning and growing. They are excited by the prospect, even (and sometimes especially) if they make mistakes during the process. In fact, they tend to focus more on the process and view mistakes as information that helps them improve.

Growth-minded people are curious about the world and often set ambitious goals for achieving new professional certifications or learning to DIY home improvement projects—not because they must, but because they want to grow.

The Fixed Mindset 

Those with a fixed mindset may believe they’re not capable of learning things outside of their normal activities. This type of mindset places a higher value on existing skills, intelligence and tendencies—they often see these traits as unchanging and may say, “I am not good at personal branding.” They accept this self-judgment as an unchangeable fact and do not believe they can change.

However, having a fixed mindset isn’t always a bad thing. For example, a fixed mindset would tell you that you cannot fly. No matter how many times you dream of jumping off that cliff and flying off into the sunset, your fixed mindset says you will not magically sprout wings on the way down. This type of fixed mindset acknowledges real limitations that can keep you safe.

According to Dweck, most people have a combination of a growth and fixed mindsets, even if some seem to naturally align with growth or fixed aspects.

Characteristics of a Growth Mindset

The aim of a growth mindset is to build greater resilience; those who learn new skills and take risks will inevitably face setbacks along the way. Individuals with a growth mindset have at least some of these traits in common:

• Resilience
• Persistence
• Optimism
• Adaptability
• Curiosity
• Consistently using positive self-talk
• Willingness to embrace feedback and criticism
• Viewing failure is an opportunity
• Ability to embrace change
• Desire to inspire and encourage others to grow

Benefits of Developing a Growth Mindset 

Developing a growth mindset comes with certain benefits, including natural confidence learned through trial and error. The introspection and honest self-evaluation that a growth mindset requires can almost become a superpower because it encourages you to focus on progress and improvement rather than worrying about whether you are “smart enough.” You will begin to see things differently, be able to adapt to challenges and changing circumstances and become more resilient.

Here is how it might look:

You decide to learn a new skill, which naturally leads into the next. Because you are building on the existing foundation of earlier experiences, it becomes easier to learn even more new skills.

By acquiring new skills and knowledge, you will also gain confidence, which can then increase your motivation to learn even more.

Yet, you are doing more than just acquiring new skills and knowledge. You are also increasing your problem-solving capabilities and ability to think creatively, and you are becoming more willing to take a risk on something new.

After a while, you’ll be able to confidently spot problems, opportunities and find creative solutions. All of these lead to greater success in your personal and professional life.

As seen in the above example, the benefits of a growth mindset can be progressive and powerful. 

How to Develop a Growth Mindset 

If you feel that you have a fixed mindset, you’re already on your way toward growth. Discerning where you might have a fixed mindset can be a powerful first step towards changing it. Anyone who accuses you of being fixed, less capable or less astute is themselves operating from a fixed mindset. You already hold the advantage. So let’s get to work.

Best practices for developing a growth mindset are surprisingly simple. In fact, they’re almost the stuff of platitudes. Don’t be dismissive. The truths are real, but they take work, commitment and energy on your part. 

When cultivating a growth mindset, keep work on the following constantly:

• Embrace challenges. Say “yes” to the next difficult task offered to you, even if you’re not confident you are the right person for the job.
• Acknowledge your weaknesses. Know them, but with the commitment to either improve upon them, use them to your advantage or go around them.
• Transform negative self-talk. How we talk to ourselves impacts our self-perception and, ultimately, what we say to others. Start small and grow. “I failed at an important task” becomes “I see where I went wrong and what I can fix next time.”
• Learn from criticism, but don’t take it personally. Analyze criticism as objectively as possible. Learn from what is useful and dismiss the rest. Don’t spend days dwelling on things that your critics forgot within minutes.

Examples of a Growth Mentality 

As shown above, there are many benefits to developing this type of mindset, and it can be developed with some practice and effort. To look at the big picture, let’s consider some examples of a growth mindset. These perspectives and actions can help in your career, relationships and well-being: 

• Taking on challenges as opportunities to grow and learn 
• Accepting and using feedback as a way to improve
• Pushing yourself to learn and master new skills 
• Continuing to persevere in the face of obstacles
• Taking initiative in the workplace and seeking new ways to contribute 
• Having a perspective of lifelong learning and seeking out new learning opportunities
• Being flexible and adapting to change when necessary 
• Rather than shying away from competition, use it as a helpful motivator

Change Your Mindset and Change Your Life 

Those with a growth mindset do more than accept criticism with grace—they encourage it. No matter where you are in your personal growth journey, cultivating a growth mindset is possible, even if you tend toward a fixed mindset.

By adopting positive self-talk and starting small, you can develop a mindset that helps you thrive and leads you to more success in life. So ditch the self-limiting talk, and get started today.

Photo by Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

The post What Is a Growth Mindset and How Does It Foster Success? appeared first on SUCCESS.

Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or aiming to overcome a challenge, visualization can help you reprogram your thoughts to see possibilities and take purposeful action. Around the world, athletes, business leaders and creatives use visualization to boost confidence, enhance focus and make winning moves.

Let’s explore the power of visualization and some techniques you can adopt.

What Is Visualization and Why Is Important?

Everyone has big potential, and positive visualization can bring you one step closer to these dreams. Different from positive thinking, visualization can be viewed as the practice of imagining a desired goal with intricate details before it happens, using deep focus.. It can help your brain work towards actualizing it.

Research suggests that when you vividly imagine achieving a goal—feeling the emotions, seeing the details and experiencing the outcome—your brain responds as if it’s happening.

With such a powerful tool within your control, there’s no underestimating your capability. Over time, your thoughts, emotions and actions can begin working together to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Visualization also prepares you to better handle situations when they eventually manifest.

Benefits of Visualization

The benefits of visualization are both practical and powerful. By intentionally picturing your goals and desired outcomes, you can position yourself to be successful in any area of your life. Benefits of positive visualization include:

Reduced Stress and Anxiety

Imagining positive outcomes helps keep the mind calm. Visualizing success, safety or a peaceful outcome can reduce the brain’s stress response, helping you feel more in control and emotionally balanced.

Increased Confidence Level and Reduced Doubts

Engaging in visualization techniques can increase self-confidence and alleviate stress. A 2025 study involving martial arts athletes found that both static and dynamic imagery practices improved self-efficacy, which reduced stress levels. This confirms the power of visualization in managing pressure.

Improved Decision-Making Speed and Accuracy

Visualization helps you make better decisions, but also accelerates the decision-making process. When you’ve mentally rehearsed a scene, you can prepare for various outcomes, leading to quicker and more confident choices.

Improved Performance

People use the power of visualization to improve their skills. Some research suggests that combining mental imagery with physical practice can lead to significant improvement in performance. One study showed that athletes who incorporated visualization into their training routines experienced up to a 45% enhancement in performance.

Enhanced Emotional Regulation

Having balanced emotions is important, and sometimes unforeseen situations can destabilize us. Visualization helps build resilience emotionally, giving us better control over our responses.

The Power of Positive Visualization in Real Life

Visualization and success go hand-in-hand. In fact, many successful people leverage powerful visualization techniques as a tool. By picturing success vividly and consistently, people can align their actions and mindset to turn imagination into reality. Let’s explore some ways visualization plays out in different areas of life:

1. Career Success

In different industries, some influential people attribute part of their successful careers to visualizing success before it happens. Jim Carrey, early in his career, visualized himself receiving a $10 million check for “acting services rendered.” He also wrote a symbolic check to himself in that amount. Years later, he received exactly that amount for his role in Dumb and Dumber, and has continued to receive much more for other appearances.

Another example is Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx. Before becoming the youngest self-made female billionaire, she visualized herself giving speeches in front of large audiences and leading a successful company, even when she was still selling fax machines door-to-door.

2. Athletic Performance

Many athletes utilize the power of visualization. Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian in history, visualized every detail of his races before hitting the water. This practice has helped him win in reality. 

Serena Williams also credits visualization and affirmations as key parts of her training. Visualizing her swings, footwork and wins helped her mentally prepare to dominate courts and come out victorious even before match day.

3. Health and Healing

Some also believe that there is a potential link between the power of visualization and health, and that it can impact physical and mental health. One study suggests that stroke patients who visualize their recovery experienced improved health. 

Oscar Carl Simonton, MD, a radiation oncologist, pioneered the use of visualization in cancer treatment, encouraging patients to imagine their bodies healing. 

It’s critical to note that everyone’s physical and mental health is unique and involves multiple factors. Individual health outcomes or recoveries can vary tremendously.

4. Relationships and Emotional Well-Being

Positive visualization can help people build stronger relationships by fostering empathy, patience and clarity. Many people use visualization to improve their interactions by imagining having peaceful conversations or giving understanding responses. This technique is also common in couples therapy and emotional intelligence training.

Powerful Visualization Techniques to Try

Several visualization techniques have been tested and proven to be effective. The good news is there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. You can try different techniques and choose the one that resonates with you. Some powerful visualization techniques include the following:

1. Mental Imagery

This is the most classic form of visualization. It helps prime your mind to act in alignment with your desired outcome. Simply close your eyes and imagine yourself achieving a specific goal. It could be hitting a milestone, getting a raise at work or crossing a finish line before others. The more sensory details you add, the more powerful the effect on your brain.

2. Vision Boards

Vision boards are visual reminders of what you want to attract or accomplish. They involve curating images, words or quotes that represent your goals. Hang your board where you’ll see it daily to keep your mind focused and motivated.

3. Guided Meditation

If your mind tends to wander or you’re new to visualization, guided meditation can help. These audio or video-led sessions walk you through calming imagery, often pairing it with breathwork and affirmations. It’s particularly effective for stress reduction and emotional regulation.

4. Future Self Journaling

Write about your life—in detail—as if you’ve already achieved your goals. Describe a day in your ideal future or journal from the perspective of your future self, offering advice and reflecting on the gratitude you feel for the journey that brought you here. This technique builds clarity and belief in what’s possible.

5. Micro-Visualizations

When you’re busy, you can still practice visualization even if you have limited time. Practice short, 30-second visualizations before daily tasks. Imagine a smooth meeting, a successful phone call or a productive writing session. These quick mental rehearsals can sharpen focus and boost confidence in real-time.

Embrace the Power of Visualization for Your Future Success

Visualization is a proven, practical tool that shapes how you think, feel and act. From boosting confidence and improving focus to aligning your daily habits with long-term goals, the benefits are backed by science and success stories alike.

Whether you’re aiming for career growth, stronger relationships or personal well-being, incorporating techniques like mental imagery, vision boards or guided meditation can help you move with greater clarity and intention. The key is consistency and belief.

Try it out today. Start small, picture your success daily and watch the transformation begin.

This article has been updated. Photo by PeopleImages/iStock.com

The post The Power of Visualization: Unlock Your Potential for Success appeared first on SUCCESS.

“Innsæi [pronounced in-sigh-ay] is this beautiful Icelandic word, and you know how words can just be a universe in themselves,” Gunnsteinsdóttir says. While commonly translated as “intuition,” the concept runs deeper. The word combines two elements: “inn,” meaning inside, and “sæi,” evoking both the sea and the act of seeing. This creates a complex possibility of meanings, including “the sea within,” “to see within” and “to see from the inside out.”

The concept of innsæi is deeply rooted in Iceland’s dramatic natural landscape. According to Gunnsteinsdóttir, unpredictable weather and vast open spaces have shaped how Icelanders perceive and interact with the world. “When you’re in a landscape that’s ultimately wide and open, it inspires your mind to think widely and openly,” she says. 

When properly developed, Gunnsteinsdóttir says our intuition provides tangible benefits. “We do things with more ease. We have more clarity of thought. We are better at prioritizing what is important and what isn’t. We become much better at tuning into the context of things and eliminating noise.”

Burning out and breaking through

Gunnsteinsdóttir’s interest in intuition wasn’t always academic. At 27, she led a United Nations agency through post-conflict reconstruction in Kosovo, a remarkable professional achievement that came at a significant personal cost.

“My personal intuition was really bad. I had no idea where to set my boundaries,” she says. “I had no idea that I could burn my candle on both ends, so my physical health was deteriorating really fast.”

After accepting a permanent position at the UN in Geneva, Switzerland, Gunnsteinsdóttir became increasingly disconnected from her sense of purpose. With challenges in her personal life as well, Gunnsteinsdóttir hit a wall before turning 30.

“I experienced months of not sleeping properly. [I was] diagnosed with three slipped discs, and the doctor [told] me I might not be able to work full-time ever,” she says. “The sparkle in my eye had just vanished.”

What followed was what she describes as a deep dive inward. “The only way out for me was in,” Gunnsteinsdóttir says. This pursuit led her to rediscover intuition as a concept and a compass to her life.

Building your innsæi

In her book, Gunnsteinsdóttir outlines five specific rituals to help see within and access intuition more reliably. “It takes discipline and conscious intention to hear our inner voice and see within,” she writes in InnSæi. 

These five practices create the conditions for intuition to flourish:

1. Daily journaling: “Journaling is a powerful way to clean the space in your head and witness yourself unfold,” Gunnsteinsdóttir writes. Even a few minutes of writing without judgment helps release mental clutter and creates space for intuitive insights.
2. Mind your information intake: In her book, Gunnsteinsdóttir advises you to “filter the inflow to improve your outflow.” This means periodically taking breaks from news media and social feeds that fragment attention, allowing your mind to process deeply rather than broadly.
3. Practice attention journaling: In addition to traditional journaling, she recommends a second type: attention journaling. Attention journaling focuses on documenting what naturally catches your attention throughout the day without judgment. “Pay attention to what you pay attention to, with your whole body, and jot it down in your journal,” she recommends in her book.
4. Take time for yourself: Schedule regular time alone, ideally in nature or situations that nourish your soul. According to Gunnsteinsdóttir, these moments of solitude are essential for reconnecting with your intuition.
5. Ground yourself: Regular grounding practices help broaden your horizon and connect you to something larger than yourself. “Being aligned with your innsæi means you sense the sea within, you can see within, and you see from the inside out as you navigate the ocean of life,” she writes.

Distinguishing intuition from anxiety

Plenty of professionals struggle with whether they’re feeling genuine intuition or just anxiety when making decisions. Distinguishing these two, and knowing when to rely on analysis or intuition, is a practiced skill. 

“When we have known ‘knowns,’ when there is certainty, statistics and analysis work,” Gunnsteinsdóttir says. “When we have unknown ‘knowns,’ when we have uncertainty, a well-honed intuition based on knowledge, experience and expertise becomes super important.”

She notes that anxiety, anger and emotional instability often block our intuition. “When we are emotionally unstable, it’s not the time to consult with our intuition,” Gunnsteinsdóttir says. 

In those high-pressure moments when you need clarity, she recommends sleeping on it whenever possible. “There’s a reason why we’ve said this for decades and centuries…. Just sleep on it and see how it feels tomorrow,” she says. 

Another recommendation she has is connecting to the earth. Having a tense conversation over the phone? Step outside, preferably without shoes on, and take the phone call from there to help regulate your nervous system, she says. 

For those without easy access to wilderness, Gunnsteinsdóttir recommends connecting with whatever natural elements are available: the sky, flowing water from a tap, houseplants or even visualization. “Research is repeatedly showing the power of the impact it has to be able to vividly imagine yourself in a situation,” she says, suggesting that visualizing natural environments can help you regulate your nervous system and access intuition.

Gunnsteinsdóttir also suggests asking yourself two key questions:

• When was the last time you didn’t listen to your intuition?
• Where did you feel it in your body, and what happened as a result? Follow these with:

• When was the last time you did listen to your intuition?
• Where and how did you feel it in your body?
• What happened as a result?

Balancing achievement and alignment

Since rediscovering her intuition, Gunnsteinsdóttir has transformed her approach to career and ambition.

“I used to think about career as a ladder, but now I think about it as a portfolio,” she says. “I feel very fulfilled in feeling that I can be eccentric about what I decide to do in types of jobs and tasks and projects…. It’s just made it much more richer, and I’ve had more confidence in saying no and yes to things as well.”

For ambitious professionals feeling disconnected from their intuition, Gunnsteinsdóttir’s message is both a challenge and a reassurance: Intuition is a skill that can be developed over time, not an innate talent some have and others don’t.

“We have a lot of power in becoming the stewards of our own attention,” she says. “We begin to navigate the world from within, and that’s a very different experience from reacting to things that we think we’re supposed to be doing.”

Photo courtesy of Hrund Gunnsteinsdóttir

The post The Icelandic Concept for Reconnecting With Your Intuition appeared first on SUCCESS.

Read on to discover expert tips and tricks to help students and their parents understand more about the college application process.

When should I start looking for a college counselor?

The fall of junior year is when students need to seriously work with an expert to determine where they want to go to school, yet many college counselors have programs that start as early as eighth grade, explains Jillian Ivy, a Harvard graduate and owner of Ivy College Essay. The benefit of meeting with a college counselor in those early years is to help students build a profile, whether that’s deciding on academic classes and/or making plans for the summer.

How do I find the right college counselor for me?

Many college counselors offer a free consultation to see if you like their policies and recommendations. Here are some tips for what to look for and what to ask when searching for a college counselor:

• Look at their credentials to see their education and their prior work experience.
• Ask about how their process works, such as how often you’ll meet with them and how frequently they’ll communicate with you.
• Understand and agree upon how much they charge and also when they charge their fees.
• Determine if your child feels comfortable opening up to that individual.

Benefits of using a college counselor

1. College counselors provide a personalized approach

College counselors offer students a personalized look at their passions and which schools would be the best fit for potential majors and careers. Alex Ellison, college counselor and coauthor of Your Hidden Genius: The Science-Backed Strategy to Uncovering and Harnessing Your Innate Talents, offers each student an assessment to figure out their core innate talents, interests, personality and approach to work. “[We] talk about how you’re using your time right now,” says Ellison. “How are you exploring? How are you learning about yourself?”

Similarly, Brian Safdari, CEO and founder of College Planning Experts offers his students a strength finders assessment to get a feel for their true values and skills.

When Ivy works with her students, she understands their background, what they bring to the table and helps students choose what to emphasize on their college applications. “A lot of times, students are too close to their life… and they can’t see what makes them interesting,” says Ivy. “It takes an outsider to say, OK, everything you told me is really good, but you forgot to mention… that you play the harp [for example]—that’s unusual…. Then, that becomes something they write about in their essays that makes them stand out.”

2. College counselors remove the pressure

Helping a student figure out a college, a major and a career is a big undertaking for any family. A college counselor can take something that is stressful outside the home into a separate space to preserve the relationship within the family, advises Ellison.

“Helping a student find their passion and guiding them requires a lot more hand-holding and guidance… [and] it’s very hard for a [school] counselor to provide that one-on-one attention,” says Safdari, especially when they have hundreds of students to look after.

“We really have an exposure gap in this country,” says Ellison. “Kids just don’t really know what’s out there and what’s possible and what they can get paid to do.” College counselors can help them understand their options. “Kids will write off an entire subject because of one [bad] experience. That can impact them for the rest of their lives.”

What are my options if I can’t afford a college counselor?

Ivy recommends families read her free admissions blog on her website, which she has updated over the past 15 years. “If they read through the blog, they will find the different tips, hints [and] advice that can really help,” says Ivy. 

Ellison recommends finding family or friends in various careers and asking if your teenager can shadow them at their job for the day to help them understand what their career is really like. She also suggests finding a teacher, neighbor or family friend who can be a mentor or guide—anyone who has objective, unbiased advice.

“Create a timeline [and] work backward from the application deadlines to set goals for research, testing, essay writing and financial aid applications,” suggests Bauman. “Research a variety of colleges based on [your child’s] academic interests, career goals, location preferences and financial considerations. Aim for a balanced list including at least three each of ‘reach,’ ‘target’ and ‘safety’ schools.” Then, stay organized and focus on essays, applications and understanding financial aid.

The bottom line is that a college counselor can provide an unbiased view of a student and point them in the right direction regarding the college and career that are a good fit for their strengths and interests.

Just going to college doesn’t make anyone successful, but why are you going to college?” says Safdari. “[We help] them figure out their why properly, then we match the right colleges to the student and then we say, here’s the road map [you] specifically want to be on.”

Other resources Bauman recommends include:

• Coalition for College
• National College Attainment Network 
• Scholarship America
• College Scorecard
• College Navigator
• Common App

Photo by VH-Studio/Shutterstock.

The post Do You Need a College Counselor? How to Find the Right Fit appeared first on SUCCESS.

Courtland Warren, thought leader, master facilitator and SUCCESS® Leadership Lab expert, has dedicated his career to helping individuals and organizations unlock their potential and create meaningful change. 

SUCCESS® CEO Amy Somerville interviewed Warren about true transformation, learning how to shift from fear to purposeful action and releasing limiting beliefs. 

Amy Somerville: “Transformation” is truly one of my favorite words. What does transformation mean to you? And what is the first step someone should take when they are feeling stuck?

Courtland Warren: People often confuse transformation with change. It’s about understanding that those are two completely different things. Like when something has changed, it can go back to what it was. Seasons change, style changes, fashion changes. But when something is transformed, it can’t go back. It literally changes the form of. So when we talk about transformation, it’s about recognizing that you become something never to return to what you were. 

So if I were to say: a caterpillar to a butterfly. Is that change or transformation? Transformation. A lump of coal to a diamond. Is that change or transformation? It’s transformation. So first, it’s about knowing that you’ll never be the same; you won’t be who you were. And when it comes to that first step, it’s awareness. Where am I? Where do I find myself? What options are available? 

I often say that choice is a function of awareness. I can’t judge you for the choices that you made until I know what options you were aware of. So if you find yourself stuck and you’re looking for transformation, it’s about first creating a level of awareness that allows that.

AS: You have been helping people transform their lives for years. Would you take a step back and tell us a little bit about your history and the moment that inspired you to step into this work? 

CW: I’m the kid who, believe it or not, would cry in church when it was time to give the Easter speech. Year after year, I would promise myself that I was going to do better, and my mom would have to come and usher me off. But I finally got it. That’s where I first started to believe I could speak in front of a group. 

When I was in middle school or high school, we switched churches. Now I’m not a minister or pastor or anything like that, but that’s where it started. I then got experience speaking to different audiences, audiences that didn’t always look like me, so that’s where the belief started. 

I won’t say that I always believed in myself, but I was in a position where I could borrow someone else’s belief in me. When a particular person who I respected and admired said, “You could do this,” I believed them. I don’t always believe, but I find that I don’t have to have the belief before I get started. I don’t have to have the fear removed before I start, but the action replaces the fear over time. It was a combination of being willing to take the action, as well as advocates who said, “You can do it.” I was able to borrow their belief in me, and that’s really where it got going. 

AS: What’s one question or challenge that you pose to your coaching clients that shifts their perspectives in a big way?

CW: I oftentimes will ask them: What’s the benefit or the payoff that you’re getting for the current belief? We’re oftentimes looking at the limiting beliefs, so it’s a pattern interrupt of sorts. You’re holding onto this belief of, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m not smart enough,” or “I don’t have the look,” or “I don’t know the right people. I’m not ready yet.” When I ask, “What’s the benefit or the payoff that you get from that belief?” they say there is no benefit.  

I remind them that just because I say “benefit” doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a positive. Then they start to explore it and realize: “I get to remain safe, I get comfort, I get someone else to blame, I get a reason why not.” So in my experience, when we start to identify the benefits or the payoffs, we recognize that we’re not just doing it—there’s a need that is being served.

So it’s important to identify the need that’s being served, then the payoff and then we can look at the price. What does it cost you? In my experience, if we invert those questions to first see that there is a need being served in holding onto the belief, then we can explore the prices of it. 

AS: You recently posted something that really hit home with me, and I think it may be tied to this concept that we’re discussing. It was a post about holding space for others and allowing others to hold space for you. You said at the end of the post, “The work of unburdening is, at its core, the work of becoming.” What does that mean to you? 

CW: So often in my life I felt like there was something wrong, that something needed to be fixed, that I was somehow damaged, broken, something was missing, and what I’ve come to know is that in those burdens, a lesson or message was always revealed. The lesson was always in that part of me that I was unwilling to embrace. 

John Demartini says, in those disowned parts, the parts of me that I wished were different, were actually the parts that revealed what I was disowning or what I needed to love. I was seeking an answer and didn’t realize that it was on the other side of that which I was most resistant to. So when I say that unburdening is about becoming, it’s really about wholeness, no fragmented parts. 

The word integrity comes from the term “integer.” An integer in math is a whole number. So when we talk about being in integrity, it’s about being whole, to embrace all sides—what some might call the shadow or dark or whatever. But the mistakes that I’ve made, the regrets that I have, the guilt that I feel for missed opportunities, squandered relationships or whatever, I find there was a lesson there that I was ignoring as long as I was unwilling to look. The idea of unburdening or laying those burdens down was really about showing some self-compassion and love for myself in a way that I was willing to embrace all aspects, embrace all the sides of myself and not feel as though I had to show up perfectly or in a way that was for the approval and acceptance of others. And the more I’ve begun to do that, the more I attract opportunities and people, like yourself. That is the work of becoming. It’s really about embracing all of it.

AS: All of it—the good, the bad, the ugly—and recognizing that is what you’re supposed to be.

CW: That’s how I see it. The law of polarity says that in order for anything to exist, the opposite must exist also, so you can’t have an up without a down. You can’t have in without out. You can’t have positive without negative. We wouldn’t know light without some dark. And so in order for anything to exist, you must also have the opposite. 

Often when it comes to success and achievement, we’re looking for the book, the coach, the podcast that reveals how we can do it without making a mistake or how we can do it without any failures, and it’s chasing fantasy. I think we’re much more effective if we create environments where it’s safe to fail, rather than a fail-safe environment. 

The idea that I can have success without bouts of adversity and challenge doesn’t work. Believe it or not, I used to really think that if it was hard or if it was difficult, then it wasn’t meant for me. I thought things were just supposed to flow, and I should just allow it to happen effortlessly. When it didn’t happen, I thought, “OK. It must not be my time yet. It must not be for me.” But that’s an escapism-type theology.

Now I recognize that what separates the deserving from the undeserving is the willingness to go through what’s required—not just what I can, but what is required. 

AS: You are clearly incredibly self-aware. Do you think, as we’re talking about self-awareness and your ability to be vulnerable, has it been key to your personal and professional success? 

CW: Yes! It has been, and if I’m being completely transparent, it’s a new place for me. I haven’t always been willing to embrace the parts of Courtland that are imperfect. There’s a term— “wabi-sabi”—which means perfectly imperfect. I thought perfection was required. I thought what was showing up in a particular way was required. 

I grew up in southeast Oklahoma, a little town called Idabel, about 5,000 people. Idabel is a very black and white town, and by that, I mean the railroads separate this town. You have the east side and west side. Black people lived on one side of the town, and white people lived on the other side of town. So growing up, it felt like there were the “haves” and the “have nots,” and we were in the have not line.

I wanted to be able to change lines. What I didn’t recognize, though, was that changing lines became adapting to a world, or at least an interpretation, where I didn’t believe that being me was OK. I thought that I had to be different in order to get those things. Now my mom would say, “We don’t need all that.” She would say, “All we need is love.” But why do I have to choose one or the other? Can we have love and some stuff? So what I morphed into was a version that I thought was acceptable and, therefore, mechanically, when it came to speaking and presentations, even facilitating. It would be mechanically flawless. 

I dotted all the i’s, crossed all the t’s. I made all the points; I memorized the script. It was all there, but no one would move. No one would move forward. There was no resonance, and I couldn’t figure it out. I finally decided I would be more real about it, share more of me, share more of the stories, share more of the imperfections. I wanted my life to be a testament of trial and error and bouncing back. 

One of my favorite words is “resilience,” which simply is the measure of bouncing back. How quickly can you bounce back from adversity and challenge? It’s helped; it’s been an absolute key. More than that, it’s been freeing to just embrace and love myself so much that I don’t fear the rejection of someone else. 

AS: How do you define true leadership? What do you think is the single most underrated skill leaders need in order to succeed today?

CW: When I think about leadership, I associate leadership with the word “power.” The word “power,” by definition, is the capacity to cause movement. Think about an automobile: They measure horsepower. If we say an individual is powerful, by definition, what we’re really speaking about is this person displays the ability to cause movement, whether that’s with people, places or things. Someone is displaying power when they can cause movement in themselves and/or in other people. 

If I say that Amy Somerville is powerful, then that means that there has been a display—whether that’s in business, in relationships, connections, podcast success, SUCCESS® magazine—whatever it is, there was the place that it was before Amy showed up, and there’s the place that it has grown or evolved into. That’s leadership, and power is required. 

The skill that I think is most underrated and that is absolutely necessary is communication. And, specifically, I think one of the most powerful things in the world is to be able to use your words in such a way that it causes other people to take action for reasons that benefit them. Being able to master language and words in such a way that when you speak them, people are moved—they’re inspired to do something different. 

AS: You told me an incredible story about your childhood… about great business books and your following of a success mindset since you were young. Are you willing to share that story with our readers?

CW: Growing up, it was me, my mom and my sister. My dad wasn’t around, and a lot of my life was about how do I win his approval? I worked hard enough to make really good grades. It wasn’t because I was super intelligent; it was more because whenever I would speak to him he would ask about my grades, and I wanted to have a good report. That was my motivation.

My dad installed glass and windows in residential and commercial buildings, and one day, he mentioned that whenever he would go into the largest homes, they always had libraries. I asked what kind of books were in these libraries, and my dad said he didn’t know, but he’d find out. “I’ll start paying attention,” he said. 

Fast forward to my sophomore year in high school, and we made it to the state track meet. My dad came to the meet, and afterward, he said he had a gift for me. This was the first time I ever remember receiving a gift from him, and I was excited. 

We walked up to the back of his work truck, and he lifted out a green milk crate. It was filled with books for me. None of my teammates understood why I was so excited about these books, so while they talked and celebrated winning the state tournament, I started going through this milk crate. There was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. There was Les Brown’s It’s Not Over Until I Win. There was Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking. I remember opening up Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People and “you’ll attract more bees with honey than vinegar.” I’m looking at these and thinking, “This must be how people get those houses he was talking about,” so I started connecting these things together. 

About four hours later, we get home, and my mom is like, “Where’d those books come from?” I said, “Daddy gave them to me. He came to the track meet.” She didn’t even bat an eye. She was like, “Get them out of here! I don’t want them in my house. That’s all he did. All he did was read those books and read those books and never did anything with it.”

My grandma lived just behind us, so I walked through a little trail, and I took them there. She had this blue tarp just laying out by her garden, and I took the tarp and wrapped it around that crate of books because in that four hours from the track meet to home, I didn’t know what my dad had done, but I knew what I was reading. 

It was unlike anything I had ever learned in school. It was the first time that someone even proposed the idea that you could change your life by changing how you think. Even though my mom was angry, and I was definitely not a disobedient kid, I knew that I was not throwing those books away.

There was a truth there that I wasn’t going to let go of. I understood what my mom was saying. In her resentment, she also revealed a key. She revealed a lesson in that my dad would read the books, but there wasn’t the application or the implementation.

I realized it’s not that the information is wrong. It’s a message of “go do what it says.” And from that, I started to facilitate and speak around those concepts. 

AS: You mentioned that just because you read content that inspires, it doesn’t necessarily mean it leads to action. In regard to taking action and the fear or insecurity that might hold us back, what are your go-to strategies for helping people push past those roadblocks? 

CW: I’ve been really frustrated with that topic over the last 20 years of speaking and training and personal development. Why is it that some act and others don’t? And it turns out it’s actually in our biology. Our brains have not evolved very much over the last 100,000 years. It definitely hasn’t evolved as fast as technology has. There’s a part of the brain called the basal ganglia, which is that part of our brain that really likes to have things be automatic. You know, tying your shoe, writing your name, getting to that place where it’s just automatic, and habits are formed and entrenched that way. What happens is this: That basal ganglia’s job is to conserve energy. It doesn’t want to expend energy, and therefore, anything that it perceives as requiring too much energy, it will assist us in justifying not doing it. That part of the brain wants to have things be automatic, which is great for forming habits and conserving energy. But man, it is devilish when it comes to change because it interprets change as being too much of an expenditure of energy.

It’s like when NASA builds a rocket. If the goal or the objective is orbiting outer space, that rocket has to get up to 25,000 miles per hour to break the gravitational pull. Eighty to 90% of its fuel gets used just to get outside of gravitational pull. Humans have “habit gravity.” We have habits that are like a force pulling against us, and we just have to embrace that in order to have what we want. Then there is a period of time where more expenditure, more focus, more discipline is required because we have to convince our brain that this new thing is really what we want.

AS: Resilience is really important to pushing past habit gravity. How do you help people cultivate resilience? 

CW: Resilience just measures your ability to bounce back from challenges, to bounce back from adversity. We can’t set up life in a way where we won’t have obstacles, where we won’t have challenges. That’s a fantasy. So then, what do we do? If I know adversity is coming, then how do I address it? 

Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania has determined that the key to building resilience is in our explanatory style. The three P’s of explanatory style are personal, pervasive and permanence. The research shows that highly resilient people don’t take things personally. Secondly, highly resilient people don’t allow the challenge to be pervasive, meaning cancerous, where it spreads to all areas. Then the third P is permanence. Those with low resilience always see the roadblocks in their life and think, “We’ll never get through this.” Whereas highly resilient people see it as a bump in the road. They see it as something short-lived. So those three P’s—personal, pervasive and permanence—are the way.

AS: What’s on the horizon for you as you continue this work? How do you define success?

CW: I define success as the ability to give myself a command and then follow it. I want the relationship with myself to be so that when I say I’m going to do something, I get it done. 

I just want to simply look in the mirror and be proud of who I’ve become. That’s the mission right now: to know that I can look in the mirror and see myself as a worthy expression of what I was meant to be. That’s my pursuit.

If you’re ready to become an influential leader, join the SUCCESS® Leadership Lab where Warren presents “Build and Mentor Your Dream Team,” a lesson on using mentorship frameworks to attract, coach and develop team members with clarity and care. 

Warren is one of 10 experts in this 18-day virtual course for rising leaders who want to lead with clarity, influence and confidence. The hybrid experience combines expert-led lessons with live coaching to provide you with practical tools to build trust with your team, navigate chaos and crises, shape a healthy, driven work culture and more. Click here to register. 

Photo by Jacob Lund/Shutterstock

The post Shake Off Limiting Beliefs to Embrace the Transformation Mindset With Courtland Warren appeared first on SUCCESS.

But once my health improved and the pandemic restrictions lifted, I booked a flight to Italy for five weeks, where I found myself again. I didn’t have clarity on what I wanted until those weeks alone in historically rich places allowed me to rediscover my capabilities. Here’s what I learned along the way.

The first week is always the hardest

Rome is beautiful, but it’s built on hills with cobblestone streets that are hell on bad knees and two hip replacements. I didn’t speak the language well, and I was pushing myself to walk.

That first week, I thought often about coming home early and cried several nights, questioning everything about my decision to travel by myself.

But around day four, I realized that I needed to give myself more grace. Could I push through the pain to go out to eat? Sure. Would my knees punish me for it later? Absolutely. Because of this, I started taking cabs everywhere to spare my knees the extra punishment.

Italy’s ancient streets taught me the most important lesson: Pain and possibility can coexist. With all its limitations, my body is still capable of carrying me to extraordinary places. But it’s also okay to work within your body’s limitations. It can be tempting to see as much as possible and really push yourself, but at the end of the day, a vacation is supposed to be relaxing—and that’s exactly what I wanted.

“Accessible” doesn’t mean the same thing everywhere

I was genuinely shocked by how inaccessible many parts of Rome were. For example, the Palazzo Colonna is stunning, but you have to climb a set of curved stairs to reach it, and the disability entrance is hidden on a side street with no clear signs or close ticketing office.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the only spot in Rome where I struggled. These accessibility issues became a pattern: “accessible” museums with unmarked elevators, entrances with stairs, and areas you couldn’t reach in a wheelchair or with mobility aids. 

For anyone with mobility issues considering a trip to Italy, I highly recommend reading through online forums and finding blogs about accessible travel before leaving to avoid the trouble I ran into.

Italy’s train system is difficult to navigate

Yes, Italy’s train stations are technically accessible, but the accessible train car is often in the middle of the train or at the far end of the platform. The language barrier made it worse—good luck asking about accommodations when most rail staff speak limited English.

I stayed by the train station in Florence, which was terrific because it’s central for food options and lets you get to nearby towns easily. But I had to leave about 30 minutes early to get through the train station each way. The station isn’t large, but getting to the right cabin took me a while.

Eventually, I scrapped my train plans and instead took a ride service to get from one area to the other. It was expensive—about $500 per leg—but I don’t regret it. Sometimes, you have to do what keeps you moving forward, even if it costs more.

Florence was better for accessibility overall. The Uffizi Gallery had clear, accessible entrances and staff who seemed to care about helping, as well as walkers with seats. After Rome, this felt like a luxury.

I found solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems

Before the trip, I had legitimate concerns: keeping medication refrigerated, carrying two suitcases, getting those suitcases onto train platforms and avoiding pickpockets. I handled each methodically.

The pickpocket issue was easily rectified—I bought a purse with a security mesh. It’s one of my favorite travel items I’ve ever purchased. I also got two hard shell carry-on rollers because they use Hinomoto wheels, which are known for being very smooth and easy to roll. If you’re doing a long solo trip with a disability, I wouldn’t skimp on luggage—you need to be able to get your stuff around easily.

My medication worried me most because it was a long flight. Even in business class, the best the airline could do to help was give me ice throughout the flight, but that doesn’t keep it temperature-controlled. Instead, I bought a portable insulin fridge and stayed near electrical outlets in the airport to keep it charged. I also kept it plugged in on the plane the entire time. The flight staff was accommodating and didn’t make me unplug it at takeoff or touch down. 

My body was stronger than I’d expected

I realized on this trip that my body could do much more than I’d given it credit for. Before Italy, walking for more than an hour seemed impossible. But during the trip, I regularly moved for 6–8 hours daily. Yes, I paid for it with pain. Every morning, I’d swallow my medications and pick up my canes, and by afternoon, my joints were screaming. But I kept going.

I had to sit down a lot more than other people, but one nifty device—a telescoping stool—made it a lot easier for me to do that, no matter whether the attraction I was visiting had seats or not. My telescoping stool looks like a giant hockey puck, but it extends into a stool that you can bring anywhere. This was especially helpful while I was waiting in line since the queues can sometimes be half an hour long during peak season, and there’s not always a separate disability line.                                                       

Italy taught me about what I’m capable of

For others with physical limitations who dream of travel, it’s not about whether you can—it’s simply about finding out how you can. When I travel solo now, I start researching up to six months beforehand about attractions, accessible entrances and everything else I might need to know.

Since coming home from that first solo trip, I’ve completely rethought what I’m capable of. I don’t have to be so afraid of on-sites or other things I’d avoided up to that point. Yes, there are things I can’t do—but I’ve learned that I’m way more capable than I’d thought.

Photo by kwanchai.c/Shutterstock.com

The post Traveling Solo With a Disability Taught Me that My Body Is More Capable Than I Realized appeared first on SUCCESS.

Personal and professional development may feel stale to longtime leaders, but renowned coach and speaker Rocky Garza energizes the field with new tools and a unique perspective on becoming your best self. 

SUCCESS® CEO Amy Somerville interviewed Garza about understanding your identity, identifying strengths and the importance of vulnerability. 

Amy Somerville: I feel like there’s so much pressure to define our purpose, to define our “why.” How can someone start figuring out who they really are and what’s the first step if you’re feeling a bit lost about your true self?

Rocky Garza: When it comes to defining our purpose, defining our why, like most things in life, we tend to want to be right. So “right” is typically only on one end of the spectrum because the other end of said linear line would be “wrong,” and we don’t want to be wrong. 

I think purpose has multiple faces, and in the last decade, what we’re experiencing is that we keep adding layers or faces to what success, purpose and peace looks like. It’s almost like it’s a moving target we can’t quite hit because every Instagram story is like, “If you are not having a 17-hour morning routine, you’re not going to make it.” It’s ever-evolving and changing. To go back a step: The pursuit of understanding our purpose is growing because we have access to more information, allowing us to know more and discover there might be something even more fulfilling that we weren’t even aware of a decade ago. 

I’ll use parenting as an example. I have an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old, and the purpose in being a parent today is not the same as it was before my daughter was born and my son was only 3. And the purpose of being a parent before I actually had a kid was vastly different than when I actually held my son for the first time. My daughter actually got a different parent at 2 than my son got when he was 2 because I was different. And so I think similarly, our purpose is not a singular point to go, “There it was. Found it. It was July 10, 2024. That’s the day I found my purpose, and it never went away.” We are ever-evolving. It is not a destination to arrive to, so we can check the box to say, “There it was. We did it.”

AS: Let’s talk about purpose as it relates to strength work, which is something I know we’re both passionate about. What is a good way to figure out what you’re really good at? Knowing that it’s constantly evolving, are there tools that you use? Are you a personality or profile assessment type of guy? How do you help people discover their unique strengths?

RG: If I address the broader sense of self, not just strength, I use a process called identity mapping, and that’s a four-part system we created ourselves over the last decade. Strength is absolutely one of those four components. Part one is we do an exercise where we really understand how your brain works and what you think about it. 

I find most individuals are reactive thinkers. What you think about most is typically related to what you fear losing, so most of us spend life playing defense. We’re on our heels.… This leads us to not do what we hope, and we rarely accomplish our dreams. 

If your first thought every morning was about the one thing you want most in life and what you hope to accomplish, you’re going to pursue more of what you really, really love doing. That’s a proactive approach.  

We then do a core values exercise because it’s the most foundational language. We say identity mapping is about creating a language for self. The third component is strengths–the “how” you do it. It’s your muscles, the muscles you’ve been using your whole life. I’m a huge fan of the Gallup StrengthsFinder assessment.  

The fourth and final component is called identifiers. These are words like analyzer, strategizer, challenger, lover, caregiver—all actionable words—so we say that’s the language for what we do. 

I’ve found it’s really, really hard for an individual to self-assess their strengths because every person knows what they’re terrible at…. I think it’s really hard for us to assess what we’re great at. For strengths in particular, the outside assessment is almost necessary… giving us a language to communicate, clearly as we can, our values or our identifiers.

AS: I want to talk to you about authenticity. It’s a straight-up buzzword these days… I’m curious on your definition of authenticity and why you think it’s so important in leadership today?

RG: I would say authenticity is the personal responsibility to have a clear understanding of self. I think oftentimes it gets used as a mechanism to say whatever I want under the guise of “I’m just being authentic” with no personal responsibility for what that means. We could easily equate that to intention versus impact. I think the intention of authenticity is there. I think the impact of authenticity, especially with leaders, often is, “I’m just being me. If you don’t like it, I’m sorry.”

AS: Yes, I think authenticity is used in a way to almost ask forgiveness for a particular behavior. When I was early in my leadership career, I really had a definition of what I thought leaders looked like, and the vulnerability piece was the most difficult for me to get on the other side of. You need the balance of the two—here’s my authenticity, but also let me be vulnerable with you and tell you where this comes from. Let me tell you that it’s not just from a position of winning all the time. Let me tell you what I’m worried about or what I’m challenged by or where I’m insecure and being honest about that. So then the authenticity shows up as a real connection versus “and that’s just who I am, so deal with it.”

RG: I greatly appreciate you bringing up the word vulnerability. Often leaders are good at disclosure, but we’re not so great at vulnerability. We’re really good at information, and we’re not very good at intimacy. And I know that word has a tinge of “you can’t say that at work.” But vulnerability is intimacy; intimacy is a connection. 

The leaders who recognize there’s a gap between where they think they are and where they really are—they know the only way to close it is with their people. But they’re not sure what to do, so why don’t we create an experience that allows us to say, “Hey, let’s do our best to overcome disclosure and step into vulnerability.” Let’s stop sharing the same three stories that we’ve told everybody our whole life that aren’t actually meaningful… Let’s share something that happened last night with our child when we put them to bed that was frustrating, that made us think about how we lead. 

AS: Oh, I love that. With all your traveling around and different roles, responsibilities and positions, who’s a leader that you really look up to? Who’s a leader today who is doing a great job of balancing authenticity with vulnerability?

RG: There’s a gentleman in my life; his name is Mark. He’s in his late 60s and has been a mentor of mine for the last four or five years. Like you, I’ve struggled my whole life to have a mentor… to find someone who wasn’t attempting to put me in the box they thought I should be in. I felt like people didn’t know what to do with me a lot of my life. I value Mark in my life because he tells me often… he always calls me by my name in mid-conversation. He always says, “How are you doing, Rocky? You look happy, Rocky. Are you happy?” He says, “You got a good life, Rocky. Do you feel like you have a good life, Rocky?” His reflective questions often cause me to see myself in a way that I don’t have the capacity to see myself on my own. 

When I think about a great leader, it’s not based on their title, it’s not based on their revenue. It’s not based on what they did or accomplished or what their LinkedIn looked like or if they’re a top voice or whatever qualifier we want to give. It’s somebody who is willing to take time in their life, often that’s in our profession, and help you see things in you that you don’t have the capacity to see yourself—good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative. They allow you to see them as true. You get to make the determination whether or not you believe they’re positive or negative or valuable or not valuable. 

I think that quality in and of itself is a common thread—the capacity to help someone see things they can’t on their own. You can radically change someone’s life, drive them toward their purpose and give them a sense of peace that they couldn’t find on their own.

AS: Gosh, I love that. We do have incredible leaders in the world, whether they are people that everybody knows, and we feel like they’re talking to us and see us, or it’s Mark, the person that’s in your life. 

Self-awareness is also a piece of the leadership puzzle. How do you address self-awareness? What do you think its importance is? 

RG: No. 1, self-awareness is the ability to recognize my present. So where am I right now? I think that’s the literal sense of self-awareness. Now we translate that into personal/professional development in our leadership space. Sometimes an individual is not in the capacity to see themself presently. They are either seeing themself in the future for what they hope they’re able to do or they see themselves for what they believe they used to be. They then act presently based on an old version… That’s the “I’m authentic. Take it or leave it. I’ve done this for 20 years. I’m sorry you don’t like that” blindness. But I think that blindness is not about willingness to do work; it’s the inability to be present. I think it can be a learned trait though. I don’t think everybody defaults to being able to be presently minded.

AS: So how do you do that? How are you present, and how often should you be trying to get present?

RG: Personally, I think you should be attempting to be present as often as you possibly can. I think a long-term business strategy meeting about planning the next quarter and the next three years is irrelevant if you are unaware of what we actually have the capacity to do today. Our strategic planning meeting is just a thoughtful progression of the present moment, stretched out over a timeline. 

On a personal level, right now, I have a chance to talk to someone that I have wanted to talk to for a very long time, and I am honored to meet you. That’s what I’m doing right now. That’s what my life is today. And so the next part of that, how do we do that? 

I think we have to be willing to sit with ourselves as often as possible. It’s as simple as saying, “Hey, where am I?” I’m about to go to this meeting. I’m about to have some dedicated work time. I’m about to be done for the day. I’m about to put my child to bed. 

I remind myself: You are living a life that you could only have dreamt of when you were 12, and you have built and created a life and a family that you never experienced your entire life. Where are you? You are living your dream, my friend. Be there and in the office and with your team and as a leader and as an executive and as an owner and as a parent… I don’t care what title you pick—be there. The rest of it will be there when it’s time.

AS: Gosh, I love that so much because… it came from one very simple tool and one very simple question: “Where are you?” I have one more question for you today: How do you define success?

RG: There’s a wonderful book called The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life. It’s by a guy named Boyd Varty. His family owns a safari, and so at 3 or 4 every morning the lion trackers wake up and their job is to go out and find the lions. They find the lions, and they radio back and give their location, so guests can be taken directly to them. He says lion tracking is a lot like life… every morning when I wake up, I may not know where I am going, but I do know exactly how I’m going to get there—track by track. I think success is the piece in life that allows you to pursue where it is you want to go, even if you don’t know how to get there.

AS: I love that a little trust is involved in that and a little surrender…

RG: And, I think, a little journey. I don’t believe success is a destination, and I don’t think success is a monument. I think success is the peace that you find in the present that allows you to pursue where you want to go, even if you don’t know how to get there… on repeat over and over and over and over.

If you’re ready to become an influential leader, join the SUCCESS® Leadership Lab where Garza presents “Co-Create a High Performance Culture,” a lesson in intentionally influencing culture through values, behavior modeling and peer reinforcement. 

Garza is one of 10 experts in this 18-day virtual course for rising leaders who want to lead with clarity, influence and confidence. The hybrid experience combines expert-led lessons with live coaching to provide you with practical tools to build trust with your team, navigate chaos and crises, shape a healthy, driven work culture and more. Click here to register. 

Photo courtesy Rocky Garza

The post How to Define Your Purpose With Rocky Garza appeared first on SUCCESS.

For years, I’d dreamed of visiting the house of Chica da Silva, now a museum that interprets her life as an 18th-century nonconformist turned folk hero. Born enslaved at the height of Portuguese diamond mining in Brazil, Chica da Silva was manumitted by her enslaver, a diamond contractor. She asserted herself into Brazilian colonial high society, a world that would do anything to reject a freedwoman of African descent. For this reason, she’s remembered in Brazilian pop culture as a heroine of sorts, her rags-to-riches story retold in telenovelas, films and books.

This museum visit was important to me because my American parents inadvertently named me after Chica da Silva. In the 1980s, they watched a Brazilian movie dramatizing her life. They liked the name, so they put their own spin on the spelling, naming me Sheeka.

I thought visiting Chica da Silva’s house would simply be a unique way to pay homage to the origin of my name. It wasn’t until I was in Chica’s home, seemingly retracing her footsteps, that I was able to reflect on the legacy that started there.

Chica overcame the unthinkable in colonial Brazil. She provoked conventional hierarchies and forged her own path. Although she didn’t challenge some of the worst ills of her time—once freed, she enslaved dozens of people—Brazilian pop culture remembers her as a clever, self-made woman. As I learned in talking to Brazilians in town and at the museum, people continue to revere her story three centuries later.

Being in her home made me wonder: How am I creating a life that will leave a lasting impact years later? How am I seeing past the social conventions of my time to live in accordance with my values? Chica and I might be inadvertently linked through our name, but the pilgrimage to her town sparked introspection about legacy.

Trips of self-discovery, like the one I took to Diamantina, are growing in popularity as travelers look for ways to reset. According to Hilton’s annual travel trends report, 22% of travelers are planning a trip for self-discovery or mental health. Whether they’re exploring their name’s origin, embarking on personal development retreats or simply taking time to reflect on their lives, these trips are enriching and also helping shape the way a traveler defines who they are.

“Twenty-four percent of our global travelers admit that they completely power down and turn off social media during a vacation, which is more than they used to do,” says Kevin Osterhaus, president of global lifestyle brands at Hilton. He’s a personal proponent of these self-reflective trips, having taken some of his own, including a trip to a monastery in Italy.

“It was all about meditation and yoga and being in silence for the entire time I was there. And it was a remarkable reset,” he says.

Osterhaus says travelers are looking to not only unplug but also engage in an activity that allows them to connect to a local community, new culture or hobby.

“We’re living amongst chaos right now, and people are losing their sense of self,” says licensed therapist and certified travel coach Lisa Pittman, who holds a Ph.D. in counseling psychology. “I’ve heard that quite a bit, that people are losing their sense of self as it relates to being in jobs that have defined them for many, many years.”

Pittman works with career-driven women in her travel coaching business. She encourages her clients to use self-discovery trips as an opportunity to quiet the everyday noise and get to the heart of their values and goals, whether personal or professional.

“You don’t have to jet off to Europe or Asia or somewhere for that. You could literally go to a mountain cabin and just self-reflect there and take in the landscape—whatever it is that speaks to you,” she says.

The first step in planning a self-discovery trip is to figure out what part of your life you want to explore. From there, travelers can make time for activities that will help them tap into the deeper understanding they seek. Whether you choose to travel a couple hours from home, or to the other side of the world, the most unique discovery you’ll make is learning more about yourself.

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For anyone who has been conditioned into low self-esteem, the above situation may be similar to their everyday reality. Self-esteem is the overall perception you have about yourself, and if it’s too low or negative, it can deeply affect many aspects of life, from your work to relationships to mental health—and not in a good way. 

Despite such far-reaching effects, low self-esteem often goes unnoticed by people who live with it. This article is an attempt to change that. Read on to learn about the common signs of low self-esteem, along with its potential causes and steps to help improve it. 

Common Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is a deeply internal trait existing in the psyche, but the ways it manifests in a person are far from internal. Rather, signs of low self-esteem can often be so outwardly visible that others may detect them long before you even do. 

Let’s explore some common emotional, behavioral and physical signs of low self-esteem:

Emotional and Behavioral Signs

Your emotions mirror your psychological state, and your behaviors mirror your emotions. This is why the most obvious signs of low self-esteem involve how you feel and behave with yourself and others.

1. Lack of Confidence

People with low self-esteem struggle with diminished confidence in their abilities. They may feel underprepared to take on certain endeavors, such as work meetings, competitions, a test at school or even navigating relationships, and in turn, may minimize or even overlook entirely, their own skills and experiences. They may believe they are not capable enough to achieve their goals. 

2. Negative Self-Talk

Someone who doesn’t value you might make fun of you, belittle your feelings or criticize you continuously. If you have low self-esteem, that “someone” can often be you.

Self-deprecating thoughts or statements such as “I am not smart enough,” “No one will ever love me,” and “I don’t deserve happiness” are a signature sign of low self-esteem. These ideas are not only unhelpful; they can actually serve to degrade an individual’s self-esteem even further. 

3. Lack of Self-Respect and Self-Love

Low self-esteem often makes people feel unworthy of love, respect and kindness. They often stay in unhealthy situations, such as toxic jobs, friendships or romantic relationships, because they believe they are not “deserving” of love, care and basic kindness.

4. Over-Dependence on External Validation 

Because an internal source of validation is missing,  someone with low self-esteem may constantly look for validation from others, such as teachers, friends, colleagues, managers, a partner or parents. They tend to be people-pleasers and may go out of their way to encourage others to like them, which, in turn, allows them to feel valued and happy. 

However, this dependence on others also tends to make them especially sensitive to criticism and rejection. Any slight negative or harsh remark may crush their already-feeble confidence, leaving them ruminating for days.

5. Difficulty Setting Boundaries

When you don’t value yourself enough, you may overlook your own needs and, instead, prioritize helping others. For instance, you may join your friends at their favorite pub—even though you actually want to stay home. You may be quick to help out a colleague despite being tired. Or, you might continually adjust your plans and priorities for your partner, even when it feels inconvenient.

This can happen because saying “no” and establishing boundaries can make you feel like a terrible person. The result is that you keep putting others first—often at the cost of your needs.

6. Not Standing Up for Yourself

Because people with low self-esteem often lack confidence, they may not vocalize their feelings and opinions. Instead, they tend to bottle them up. An individual with lower self-esteem may hesitate to ask for a raise at work or express that they disagree with another’s opinion. Overall, they fear asking for the things they need. 

7. Passive Attitude Towards Life

Low self-esteem can also make it difficult for people to set significant goals. They may avoid trying new things and, instead, sabotage their own progress. They tend to avoid taking risks because ultimately, they fear failure and do not want to let others down. 

8. Self-Doubt and Imposter Syndrome

For someone lacking self-esteem, self-doubt is a common factor in decision-making. It’s not uncommon for people with a lower sense of self-worth to second-guess themselves, fearing their choices will fall flat. They typically don’t feel an inner sense of security, instead believing that others don’t actually like them, even when there’s evidence to the contrary.

Moreover, because they don’t value their abilities and feel undeserving of success, they often have a nagging fear of being “found out” or “exposed.” They feel like an impostor and believe they will ultimately disappoint those who trust and believe in them.

Physical Signs of Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem not only affects our emotions and personal behaviors, but it can also impact our bodies as well. It crawls out to the surface and shapes our interpersonal experiences and physical traits, too. Here are some physical signs of low self-esteem:

1. Poor Body Posture

People with low self-esteem may exhibit some characteristic body language cues that reveal their inner beliefs. They may slouch while they walk, sit, or stand, tilting their heads forward, rarely keeping a straight spine. They may also try to shrink themselves when sitting with others, crossing their legs and arms and sitting in the same position for long periods, even when it feels inconvenient.

2. Avoiding Eye Contact

Not everyone who avoids eye contact lacks self-esteem. They simply might be shy or introverted. Or, they may need to take some extra time to feel comfortable with people. However, if someone consistently avoids eye contact during conversations and also shows other signs of low self-esteem, eye contact issues might be another clue.

3. Eating Disorders

According to a 2021 study, people with low self-esteem are at risk of developing different eating disorders. Although eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and others often occur for other reasons, low self-esteem can be a factor. 

4. Substance Abuse

Self-esteem issues usually worsen with time if left unchecked. Studies have shown that healthy levels of self-esteem are negatively correlated with substance use and that low self-esteem can, in some individuals, contribute to an increased likelihood of substance abuse. 

5. Anxiety and Depression

Chronic low self-esteem can sometimes be dangerously harmful.  Some research suggests that self-esteem and depression are linked. In other words, lower self-esteem can correspond to a higher likelihood of depression.

Behaviors of People With High Self-Esteem

Now that we’ve discussed one end of self-esteem, let’s explore what the other end looks like. As it turns out, high self-esteem helps people fare better in life.

1. Confidence in Abilities

People with high self-esteem are naturally confident in the things they do. They trust themselves and their abilities and talents. Their confidence shows up in the way they behave around others, as well as the kind of self-talk they engage in. 

2. Healthy Boundaries and Self-respect

Having high self-esteem doesn’t take away one’s ability to offer help or support. Because an individual with healthy levels of self-esteem values their own needs and wants, they are more comfortable setting boundaries, such as saying “no” when they are unable to help another out. 

3. Taking Feedback Positively

For someone who is confident and trusts their skills and ability to improve, critical feedback is a stepping stone that helps them grow. While criticism may affect them, they are less likely to take feedback personally, which instead allows them to work on the issue being discussed and channel their efforts toward improving. 

4. Poised Body Language

Contrary to people with low self-esteem, those with high self-esteem reflect their confidence and self-belief in their body posture. They often stand up straight and sit upright. Moreover, they are more likely to maintain eye contact and keep their chin up while talking.

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

The causes of low self-esteem can be internal, external, or experiential—or a mix of these—and vary across people. Some common reasons include:

1. Negative Childhood Experiences

Many unpleasant childhood experiences leave lasting negative impacts that spread into adulthood. Receiving constant criticism or neglect from a parent, being repeatedly mocked and ridiculed by teachers or other adults, or not being loved, supported,or cared for by family members can significantly impact a child’s self-perception long-term. 

2. Poor Academic or Professional Performance

Receiving poor grades in school, making mistakes and errors at work and missing deadlines can have a negative impact on an individual’s self-esteem. These experiences, especially when they happen repeatedly, can open the doors for self-doubt and negative self-talk.

3. Traumatic and Stressful Events

Negative life events, such as physical or emotional abuse, loss of a loved one, job loss or demotion, breakup or divorce, or a financial crisis, can induce trauma and stress. However, they can also adversely impact one’s self-esteem, too.

4. Unhealthy Relationships

The people you spend time with have the power to affect your self-perception. Unhealthy friendships and romantic relationships, such as those in which you are made fun of or ridiculed, can have lasting effects on your self-esteem. 

5. Negative Social Comparison 

Constantly comparing yourself with others is a surefire way of disturbing your peace and self-esteem. When you look at others’ seemingly “perfect” and “happy” lives and compare them with your own, it can be easy to feel less successful and, in turn, less self-confident. 

6. Physical Health Issues

Chronic illnesses can leave people physically incapable of living their lives normally, which can, in some individuals, impact their sense of confidence. 

7. Mental Health Issues

The relationship between low self-esteem and mental health issues runs both ways. Mental health disorders, such as depression and anxiety, can take away someone’s self-worth and trigger feelings of inadequacy, reducing their self-esteem.

How to Improve Self-Esteem

Improving your self-esteem takes work, but it is possible. Here are some practical steps to improve your self-esteem:

1. Recognize and Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Identifying and countering your self-critical and self-limiting thoughts is crucial. As soon as you realize you’re falling into the loop of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), pause and ask yourself:

• Do I have a real and logical reason to think this way?
• Is this the only way to look at this situation?
• Will I talk like this to a friend or a loved one?
• Is this thought helping me grow in any way?

If your answer is “No” to any of these questions, it’s your cue to reframe the narrative and turn it into something positive or hopeful. 

2. Set Achievable Goals

Don’t shy away from accepting your faults and shortcomings. But make sure to look at them for what they are, without exaggerating or catastrophizing them. Be kind to yourself and set little goals that push you out of your comfort zone a little. For example:

• Do one push-up every day to improve your health.
• Go on a walk every day.
• Reach out to people who support you. 

Celebrate little wins when you reach a milestone, such as a ten-day streak of one push-up/day or five days of setting clear boundaries at work.

3. Practice Self-Care and Healthy Habits

The person who deserves your best version the most is you. So don’t forget to take care of yourself, physically and mentally. Start developing healthy habits such as:

• Eating more nutritious food and less junk or processed foods.
• Getting enough sleep at night.
• Recognizing the things you are good at. 
• Saying “No” to unwanted things and situations more often.
• Noting down good things—however trivial—you did or experienced.

4. Seek Support When Needed

Don’t hesitate to seek external help when you feel low, unsure, or bad about yourself. It can be anyone from a supportive and thoughtful friend to your sibling. 

If you know your low self-esteem is affecting your mental health, consider reaching out to a professional. Remember that while you may feel alone, mental health professionals can provide you with the helpful tools and resources you need to help improve your self-esteem in the long term.

Let Your Self-Improvement Journey Begin

Living life with low self-esteem isn’t easy. You can feel unworthy, undeserving, unloved, unimportant and more. These adjectives might seem fitting and appropriate, but they are only as real as you make them. It’s time to change the narrative and shift your mindset towards higher self-esteem.

Yes, it will take time, and you will face setbacks, too. You will likely fall into the same negative thought patterns in the beginning. But in these instances, it is especially important not to forget that by taking a number of small steps, it is possible to challenge your low self-esteem. Keep your chin up, keep working and be kind and compassionate to yourself in the process. 

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Think about that flow state you can get into when you’re engaged in deep work or that feeling of setting, and then achieving, a goal. That’s what leads to success—and as you might imagine, at this publication, we’re big believers in leading successful lives. These sayings about hard work are helpful for personal motivation, as well as something managers, leaders and business owners can leverage to inspire their teams. After all, getting your mind and body engaged in a passionate pursuit can be one of the most defining experiences life has to offer. 

Ready to get inspired? Dive into this list of inspirational hard work quotes from famous people, including musicians, writers, entrepreneurs and more greats.

Inspirational “Hard Work Beats Talent” Quotes 

As children, it’s commonplace to try things and not succeed at first. Think about the path to walking, for instance: first a baby crawls, then pulls themselves up, then stands and, finally, starts cruising. As adults, we often forget how hard it is to be a newbie. We expect to be good at things from the get-go. But, of course, so much of being successful involves putting in the time to practice, fail, fail better and perfect a skill. These motivational hard work quotes exemplify that while talent is important for success, so too is grit and perseverance.

• “Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.” —Joseph Joubert 
• “The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.” —Émile Zola 
• “Work keeps at bay three great evils: boredom, vice, and need.” —Voltaire 
• “Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another.” —Anatole France 
• “I learned about discipline getting clean; I went from a life of excess and lawlessness to realizing the upside of discipline, work, work ethic, and all that.” —Trent Reznor 
• “Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working.” —Pablo Picasso 
• “The game’s not done until it’s over. You’re focused in until the last out is made. That’s my never-ever-quit attitude.” —Jeff Bannister 
• “I am an ordinary man who worked hard to develop the talent I was given.” —Muhammed Ali 
• “The heights by great men reached and kept / Were not attained by sudden flight, / But they, while their companions slept, / Were toiling upward in the night.” —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 
• “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” —Michael Jordan 
• “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” —Steve Jobs 

Related: 4 Lessons Ultra-Athletes Can Teach Us About Grit

Work for It: Quotes About the Power of Hard Work & Success 

Hard work is key. Of course, marrying hard work with talent (and a good support system) is how the harmony required to be successful develops. With these “work for it” quotes, we can see how hard work pays off—with insights from personalities ranging from tennis great Venus Williams to entrepreneur and icon Martha Stewart.

• “The highest reward for a person’s toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.” —John Ruskin 
• “I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand; that the world owes no man a living but that it owes every man an opportunity to make a living.” —John D. Rockefeller 
• “A mind always employed is always happy. This is the true secret, the grand recipe, for felicity.” —Thomas Jefferson 
• “Demanding is good. We all need a work ethic. I work 24/7. I don’t expect everyone to do that, but some of them should.” —Martha Stewart 
• “I have to work hard if I want it to be successful.” —Venus Williams 
• “Believe. Dream. Try. Succeed. Age, no bar!” —Colonel Harland Sanders 
• “[T]o climb steep hills / Requires slow pace at first.” —William Shakespeare 
• “Whenever you’re younger, you feel like it’s a job, and you have to be pushed. But now it’s like, This is what I want to do, so that’s why I’m here.” —Simone Biles  
• “One of the best feelings in the world is being proud of what you’ve learned after you’ve worked hard at it.” —Fred Rogers 
• “Whatever your goal for this year is, you can get there—as long as you’re willing to be honest with yourself about the preparation and work involved.” —Oprah 
• “Money is indirect, direct is your ability or whatever you do on your own. If that works, the indirect things also work.” —Bruce Lee 
• “Success always demands a greater effort.” —Winston Churchill 

Related: What Gen Z Can Teach Us About Work-Life Balance

Sayings About Hard Work from SUCCESS® to Help You Get Ahead 

Here at SUCCESS®, we’re privileged to have people share their personal viewpoints on what it takes to be successful—from our writers to thought leaders, keynote speakers and authors like Gary Vaynerchuk and David Ahearn. Here’s a look at some hard work quotes by famous musicians. Let their words of wisdom on success and getting ahead inspire you.

• “If you want to make it, you have to hustle. You need the drive to work hard and the willingness to go all in and put it on the line.” —Gary Vaynerchuk, “First Work Smart, Then Work Hard. (And Hustle 24/7/365.)” 
• “As a blogger and a writer, I have personally learned that success takes time, hard work, and just plain stick-to-it-ness.” —Debra DiPietro, “Success Takes Time and Hard Work—Follow These 5 Steps to Stick With It to the End” 
• “When it comes to success, a great many people say ‘Why me?’ when the most successful people in life say ‘Why not me?’” —David Ahearn, “Stop Fantasizing and Start Saying ‘Yes, and’ to Your Dreams”
• “It really became a theme in my career of working in underappreciated and underserved spaces. If there’s a core audience there, even if it’s an audience that was there previously, you can always find a way to reignite that audience, to engage that audience, to find them again.” —Jonathon Shank 
• “It’s [America] still a great land of opportunity—where, if you work hard and you have personal responsibility and you create value for other people, you can literally still come from abject poverty to create a great quality of life for your family.” —Mark Matson 

Related: 10 Ways to Stay Motivated From People Who Refuse to Quit

Quotes to Celebrate Success and Hard Work 

At first, what it means to be successful may seem self-evident. But the reality is complicated: Success to some may be synonymous with wealth or, perhaps, with power. For others, it may be more defined by making the world a better place or by being content. 

Working hard at things you love can also be a form of success for many. Take a look at these quotes about success and hard work that walk through the many complex possibilities. Keep them in mind when considering the nature of success, and let them inspire and motivate you to keep working hard at what matters most to you.

• “Don’t aim at success—the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it.” —Viktor Frankl 
• “Success is counted sweetest / By those who ne’er succeed.” —Emily Dickinson, “Success is Counted Sweetest” 
• “I enjoyed the work that went into making yourself the best you can be but I hated what the scoreboard doesn’t say. It just tells you if you won or lost.” — Andre Agassi 
• “Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try.” —Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!
• “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” —Albert Einstein 
• “If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal—that is your success.” —Henry David Thoreau, Walden 
• “Success means I get to do it again tomorrow.” —Steve Albini 

Related: 10 Tips to Achieve Anything You Want in Life 

Powerful Quotes on Hard Work and Dedication 

Dedication is a key quality—along with hard work—to be successful. Again and again, these hard work quotes reveal that continuing to dedicate time and energy to projects (even when they don’t come easily) is key to performing well.

• “Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” —Theodore Roosevelt 
• “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” —Thomas Edison 
• “I see that my steadfast desire was alone responsible for whatever progress or mastery I have made.” —Henry Miller 
• “I’m always trying to do better music. I don’t know if I’ve written my best song yet. That’s the big question. It doesn’t stop you trying.” —Paul McCartney 
• “Success comes from the ability to handle failure and mistakes.” —Derek Fisher 
• “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.” — Thomas Edison 
• “You can have a job, or you can have a career, or you can have a calling. And if you can somehow figure out how to have a calling, you have hit the jackpot, because that’s the big deal.” —Jeff Bezos 

Related: 10 Questions to Help You Cultivate Authentic Grit

Famous Musicians on Success to Inspire Anyone

If anyone knows what it’s like to succeed, it’s these world-famous musicians—many of whom are known by a single name. And yet, of course, to perform at this height means hours of practice and time spent performing in empty venues. Here’s a look at musicians’ perspectives on success:

• “I’ve learned that true success isn’t about leaning on a name; it’s about crafting something genuine, something that can hold its own. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being revolutionary.” —Beyoncé 
• “When people have to work to get somewhere, you know they really want to be there.” —Madonna 
• “The best revenge is massive success.” —Frank Sinatra 
• “You know, people have a funny idea that success, [that] luxury is the end of the road. That’s not the end at all.” —Joni Mitchell 
• “For as long as I can work, I will.” —Cher 

Fuel Your Hard Work & Success With These Inspiring Words   

From playwrights to pop singers, there’s a wide range of opinions on success and the things that undergird it—namely, hard work, perseverance, dedication and grit. From short hard work quotes to longer sayings to celebrate success and dedication, you can take inspiration from this collection of motivational phrases. Refer to them on days when you need a boost, you’re searching for some wisdom from the past or you want to recognize the power and value of hard work in yourselves or others.

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